Apr. 22nd, 2009

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I've been here before.

This is what I find myself continuously saying to people these days. I've come back, after five years. I've returned.

The first year I was here, I arrived with two friends. The next year, I was accompanied by one friend. This time, I came alone, the only one not to have joined the Coast Guard, gotten married, found myself suddenly as stepmother to a child, or as a homeowner in Texan suburbia. I'm still free, and California called relentlessly, shading my dreams, echoing in small patches of forest, tugging at my heart until I finally surrendered. I can't say for certain if I will stay indefinitely. I can never say that for certain-- I have too much wanderlust still rushing through my veins. But it is home for now, the towering evergreens, the granite cliffs that take on that otherworldly golden glow during the full moon, the stars that dance dizzyingly overhead at night, the unrivaled sense of peace and connectedness I feel when surrounded by that which is wild. Even the cramped dorm room, the relentless piles of sheets and towels to be washed, the laundry room echoing with music, opened to the night breeze, the tavern with its rustic wooden wall panelling and rough-hewn benches and tables are home to me. It is, in many ways, as though I never left.

I've opened this new journal as an excersize in creative replenishment, as my other, older avenues seem to have run dry for the time being. This is a fresh start, a new chapter.

There is much I wish to experience here at the Green, and much I wish to write of. Here, I will muse and ramble and write, recording thoughts and feelings and experiences. I may post art and photographs, when I have the tools to do so. I may write fiction or poetry. I may rant and rave, pour out a broken heart, fill these pages with joy or fascination or longing. Those who wish may read and comment, though the internet access up here is very unreliable, so I cannot guarantee timely replies. I do try to eventually respond to everyone who comments in a respectful fashion, however. Some of you already know me as siabha_maellyn on my other account.

sometime soon, I hope to post more.


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January 2014


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